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Holidays

Compensating for hard times with a pile of presents may invite a different set of troubles for families

By Stephanie Dunnewind
Seattle Times staff reporter
December 8, 2001

With kids begging for the latest toys - including $300 video-game stations - it's easy for parents to overdo it on gifts and holiday fun.

Most surveys this year found people plan to spend about as much as last year on the holidays, with the average consumer dropping $863 to $1,042 on gifts, according to two national polls. They'll add another $522 for holiday entertaining, travel, decorations and miscellaneous expenses.

Almost three-quarters of the 800 people polled in November for the American Express Retail Index said neither Sept. 11 events nor the economic downturn would affect their holiday spending.

Indeed, rather than discouraging open wallets, some experts say parents might indulge more this season to cheer up themselves and their families.

"Especially now, parents want to protect their kids from danger as well as disappointment," said Laurie Simons, a mental-health counselor with Family Interplay Associates in Kirkland and author of "Taking 'No' for an Answer and Other Skills Children Need."

"There's a tendency to try to make up for the stress we're all under by overdoing it on gifts. Parents want kids to feel happy, and they think gifts are going to do that."

Paying off holidays until April

Families who haven't saved for seasonal spending or aren't realistic about tightened finances may find a bitter aftertaste next year.

"If you can't afford it now, chances are you won't be able to afford it in January when the bill comes," said Howard Dvorkin, president of Consolidated Credit Counseling Services, whose organization receives "significantly" more calls post-holidays. "With the interest, that $100 toy could become a $200 toy by the time you pay it off."

The average consumer won't pay off all holiday credit charges until April, according to the American Bankers Association. Last year, Dvorkin helped a woman who spent her December paycheck and holiday bonus on presents, then didn't have enough to pay her next month's rent.

"As much as you want to spend money on your kids to make up for what they don't have, you need to look at what that does to the family budget," he said.

"A big blowout on presents might make a great Christmas, but January is going to be torturous. Good times are easily forgotten, but bad times are drilled into kids' memories."

Sensory overload and 'gimme'

Toys and games are the second-most-popular gift purchases after clothing, according to the American Express Retail Index. They don't come cheap. On Toy Wishes magazines "Hot Dozen" list of popular toys, seven cost $50 or more and three were $100 and up.

The best gift parents can give children, Simons says, is their time and presence. The holidays can help children learn to deal with disappointment and to make polite requests - with the understanding they may or may not receive it.

With more single-child families and complicated family arrangements with multiple sets of grandparents, children in financially stable families can be overwhelmed by the sheer amount of presents.

"For young kids, it's sensory overload," Simons said. "For older kids, it turns into a 'gimme' game. Although they enjoy the gifts, they'll always want more."

Tracy Flaherty of Mercer Island doesn't buy expensive presents for her five children but pays more attention to quantity than price. If she buys each child five toys, "that's 25 new toys in the house," she says. Add gifts from grandparents, aunts and uncles and "it's insane," she said.

With four boys - triplets, age 3-1/2, her oldest son, age 6, and a baby daughter, 8 months old - "we're overrun with rescue heroes, dump trucks and fire trucks," she said. "Really, how many dump trucks can you have in one house?"