Holidays
But spending is a Holiday Ball!
While Thrifty Is Nifty, Some Shoppers Say It's Fun to Go for Broke
Washington Post Staff Writer
Sunday, November 30, 2003
I admit that I love to shop, but every Christmas morning when I look at the mounds of presents under the tree -- or the trash bags of wrapping paper they leave behind -- I vow that next year I won't do so much carefree gift buying.
Yet every year, I do it again.
For the past month, I've been steeling myself for this coming seasonal battle. But as I was reading my colleague Michelle Singletary's recent Color of Money column, in which she advocated a slim budget of merely $100 for all one's holiday gifts, I began to wonder if there's really anything wrong with getting a little carried away by the spirit of the holidays. Aren't we Spenders having more fun than the Savers, anyway? There's no question that when I save money I feel good -- but in a virtuous sort of way, not in the way that makes me want to have another glass of eggnog.
Some consumer and psychology experts believe the excess is okay, such as Richard Feinberg, professor of consumer sciences and retailing at Purdue University.
"It's not a sign that we're out of control; it's a sign that we like to make people happy," he said. "It's basic psychology. Rats press bars to get food."
Others are more skeptical.
"I think it does vaguely erode self-esteem," said Olivia Mellan, a District-based money coach and psychotherapist. "You can't even enjoy what you have if you have too much of everything."
Both arguments sound at least partially true to me. But because I have more fun being a Spender than a Saver, and the holidays are supposed to be fun, I find it wholly defensible to stick with my approach.
People who shop a lot at this time of year do so for a variety of reasons. Psychologists say one of the clear factors in the end-of-year shopfest is the fact that it is the end of the year. It's a natural time for people to assess who they are, what they've done for the past 12 months and whether they need to make amends to anyone. That's where the shopping comes in.
Didn't spend enough time with the nieces and nephews? Didn't call your mother enough? A few extra-special presents are just the ticket. The influence of guilt, and using presents to show people how much you love them, are common elements in the frenzy of Christmas.
"People just get caught up in it -- they think the more expensive the gift, the greater the expression of love," said April Lewis-Parks, director of education for Consolidated Credit Counseling Services.
Clearly, that's not always the case. The difference between the $120 vase and the $180 vase is likely to be meaningless to many. But when it comes to not buying anything at all, or buying something cheap, that will be noticed. I may overdo it a little, but over the years I've had pretty good success finding wonderful gifts that effectively showed the recipient how much I care. It's made me feel good, and it's made the person receiving the gift feel good.
